Grace Built Home

 

Having been homeschooled…. I know that there are problems. Homeschooling isn’t the fix all solution. We are human and humans fail one another and therefore parents are going to make mistakes, children are going to make bad choices and so on, regardless of being homeschooled or public schooled. I firmly believe the home should be a class room centered around the Bible whether children are schooled at home or not. But let’s face it, the `Christian Homeschooling Movement’ isn’t perfect.

I am seeing more and more articles from young people (who where home schooled) who are finding problems with the way they were brought up. For example, I recently read an article about how courtship has failed. GASP!  That can’t be, courtship was the perfect solution to the dating problem… or is it? What went wrong? Divorce rates of courtship couples is skyrocketing! That can’t be!

Following a strict home school program (IBLP or ATI) was suppose to guarantee a godly family, and children who were obedient. It all looked good. The Perfect Family dressed in blue and white with bright smiling faces. What happened? The world labelled them a cult, and many parents watched children rebel, totally walking away from the faith. And now we’ve seen the leaders of some of these movements removed from leadership for questionable behaviour. Gulp!

 

Hmm, maybe we missed something? Maybe we forgot that it’s not all about rules? That it’s not about all our girls wearing skirts, being willing to stay at home till God calls them to move on, or listening to only curtain music or agreeing to strict rules of courtship… etc…

If I recall right the Pharisees had this same problem. They were rule based. In fact they added rules to the ones God had given them. They had no GRACE.

 

I do not have a solution for those who are coming away from legalistic home school teachings. I myself am reviewing everything we heard and learned growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not throwing the baby out with the bath water, but I’m stepping back and testing things we were taught, whether they are of God or of men.

 

I’ve had conversations with my parents too and they also are saying there were things that were not done right. So don’t get me wrong, I am not in `rebellion’ here, we are all going back to our Bibles on some things.

 

What I am finding is, it’s not about dressing a curtain way, having your children act a curtain way or following a formula for a successful future, (strict courtship rules etc…). It should always be a heart matter. I believe we need to get back to the Gospel message first and focus on that. Our children need to know that when they mess up (when they aren’t the perfect home school kids) that they will always have forgiveness from us. They don’t have to fit into a cookie cutter home school world. They don’t have to measure up to a home school’s program set formula; dress this way + act this way = godly successful children, with God’s full blessing on your/their life. (Don’t follow this and God won’t bless you.) It doesn’t work that way because it’s man made and everything man made is bound to fail, because it’s not perfect. And those out there who have tried these man made formulas are now broken and confused, hurting people. They messed up and feel that God won’t bless them.

What happened to Grace?

 

Like I said I do not have the answers. I know Someone who does though. So I have this advice for myself as much as for anyone. We need to be seeking God in every decision that we make. We need to be following His leading in EVERYTHING. It’s not about us or how we look or our families appearance to others, it’s about living to glorify God! That is what we were created to do.

 

I hope and pray I can bring my children up in the ways of the Lord. I want my sons and my daughters to follow the Lord’s leading in their lives first, before my wishes. Hopefully I and my husband will prayerfully bring them up… and let them go.

 

I hope my daughters like to be girls and see no need to compete with men. God made us women after all.

I hope my sons learn to be gentlemen and treat their sisters and other women with respect.

 

I hope my children choose friends wisely and seek God’s guidance for a spouse.

I also hope they prayerfully think about their futures and where they think God would have them stay or go.

 

But the bottom line is fitting them into a mould will not work! I have to follow God’s leading and in turn trust Him with my children that they will follow Him and His leading for their lives.

 

I have to give them Grace as it was given me. When they fail and don’t meet my standard they have to know they can always come to me for forgiveness and that I will love them unconditionally. I must do that, because that is what was done for me!


S.L. Kliever