Great building blocks to a good solid marriage relationship. Whether you are going with someone, or engaged or married, these are really good reminders.
1- Pray Together
It's hard to be angry at someone you're praying for and with.
The real enemy wants us to be angry at our spouse, but when we turn to God for help, the enemy has to leave.
The old saying, 'The family that prays together, stays together' has something to it!
2-To Talk... LOTS! And Listen
Always hear both sides to the story, is what we've been told. Works the same in any relationship. You voice your thoughts, they voice theirs. Communication is a two way street. To avoid misunderstandings we need to know where the other person is coming from.
3-Read God's Word together.
We can read all the marriage books in the world, but following God's wisdom, and staying in-tune with Him is the best way to go. It will have eternal effects. After all, our kids are watching.
4-Give Space When Disagreements Arise. Agree On The Important Things
We all know the feeling that comes with disagreement. I'm right, and he is wrong, Period!
We all have different opinions on how things should be done. Yes we need to agree on the important things in life, but there are some areas that aren’t worth battling over.
5- Real Joy
My happiness does not come from my spouse. My Husband was not put here on earth to make me happy. True Joy comes from the Lord.
Jesus first
Others second (my spouse)
You last
That spells JOY!
When I had bad days and I seek my husband for sympathy, he gives me reassurance, but also reminds me 'The joy of the Lord is your strength'.
6- Learn Your Spouse's needs
We all have needs. We each have a different love language. Finding out these things and working together to meet each-other’s needs is a way of serving each- other and keeping our 'love bank' account filling up. When we neglect each- other, we make harsh 'withdrawals' that can 'overdraw' our love account. Being selfless is key. A good idea is to try and out-serve each-other on a daily bases.
7- Give Grace
We were given grace when we didn't deserve it! How can be do anything less than what our Savour did for us. We all make mistakes, because we're all human. Instead of the third degree or the cold shoulder, we need to offer forgiveness with grace.
8-Do Re-dos
When you've miss-communicated or had a misunderstanding, ask for a re-do, and do it over to the satisfaction of both parties. It's so worth it. Way better than arguing or the frustration the mishap brings.
9-Dealing With The Baggage
We all have baggage from the past that we tend to drag around with us wherever we go. Sometimes these things can creep up between us. We need to put that garbage in it's place. In the garbage can! We should never view our spouse through that baggage and we should never let it define who we are.
Asking the Lord to help us deal with it and telling the enemy he has no business bringing it up, is the first step to victory over our past hurts.
10-The People Who Stand With You
You know that group of people who stood up for you at your wedding? They shouldn't just be there for looks or because 'if you don't ask so and so they'll be offended'. Those people are witnesses and they are there to hold you to your word and to keep you accountable.
Choose friends who will call you out on something and keep you and your spouse holding to your vows.
Seeking to have a mentor couple is a good idea too. You see that old couple who've been married for over 25 years? Why not ask them to be your mentors?
It's all about working together, growing together, and fighting together not against each-other.
Got any more? I'd love to hear them!
S.L. Kliever
